YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

At the Republican National Convention, the “Governator”, in fact the Governor of my sorry state, Arnold Schwarzneggar, gave a terrific speech. While the funniest part was the bit about how Richard Nixon inspired him to become a Republican (that ought to tell you everything you need to know), the best part of the speech was the “You are a Republican” section. Absolutely terrific speechifyin’. And complete bullshit. I mean REALLY... I know the RNC wanted to make the Party of Christian Jihadists seem palatable to Middle America, but he was either making that shit up or simply lives on another planet (HEY! No California comments, now!).

Here’s my take on what he should have said, if you judge the Republican party by it’s actions, not it's words:

If you believe that the Party that denies: gays the right to marry, women the right to abortion, everyone access to contraception, welfare for the poor and/or unemployed, protection for the environment, the right of all citizens to a decent education and health care for the uninsured…
Is the party of COMPASSION…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that an Administration that: mandates Christian prayer in schools, promotes creationism as science, pays Christian missionaries to run essential Government social services, mandates what modern medical procedures and medical research should be legal based on 2000 year old biblical references…
Is upholding the SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that an Administration that wants to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge…
Is a steward of the ENVIRONMENT…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that a Vice President, who was the CEO of a giant OIL CONGLOMERATE, negotiates an energy agreement with Coal, Oil and Nuclear energy companies in COMPLETE SECRECY…
Is acting in the PUBLIC interest…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that cutting taxes and increasing Military spending to the point of creating the largest Federal Deficit in history
Is FISCALLY CONSERVATIVE…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that giving the wealthiest 1% of Americans tax cuts worth MILLIONS
But only giving the other 99% less than $600 each…
Is a MIDDLE CLASS TAX CUT…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that Iraq HAD to be invaded n order to liberate the Iraqi people from an “Evil Dictator”, but that there is no need to invade Sudan, North Korea, Syria, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Myanmar, Yemen, Libya, Nigeria, Somalia, Zimbabwe, Pakistan, Chechnya, Georgia, Uzbekistan,…
Is a CONSISTENT FOREIGN POLICY…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that Pakistan, a nuclear-armed military dictatorship, active supporter of terrorists, former ally and supporter of the Taliban, recruiting ground for Islamic extremists, supplier of nuclear materials to the world and current home of Bin Laden…
Is a RELIABLE ALLY in the War on Terrorism…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that Saudi Arabia, a monarchist kleptocracy (didn’t we overthrow ours over 200 years ago?), homeland of Bin Laden and most of the 9-11 hijackers, primary source of money for Al Qaida, origin and activist promoter of rabid Islamic extremist Wahabbism, source and funder of a worldwide network of Madras’ used to train Islamic extremists…
Is a source of STABILITY in the Middle East…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that Saddam Hussein had chemical, biological and very nearly nuclear weapons and was an EMINENT threat to the safety of America…
Despite the fact that NOTHING was ever found…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that an Administration that starts wars on false pretenses; bases military strategy on the advice of academic think-tank ideologues; ignores the advice of the General Staff; has to call up reservists, deny military personnel the right to quit when their service has completed and relies on private armies of mercenaries because they underestimated the manpower requirements; keeps asking for more money because they miscalculated the cost of the war; and declares “Mission Accomplished” before 90% of the casualties have occurred…
Has demonstrated competent MILITARY LEADERSHIP…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

If you believe that a President who has an extra-marital affair an intern is a man of MORAL WEAKNESS and should have been IMPEACHED…
But a President who starts a WAR by LYING to the American Public is a man of MORAL CONVICTION and should be RE-ELECTED…
Then YOU are a REPUBLICAN!

And if you believe that the current men and woman in the White House are decent, moral, courageous servants of the American Public, working for Justice, Freedom and Democracy throughout the World…
Then YOU are a FOOL.